


More Than an Avenger

by WizardsGirl



Series: The Well-Adapted Body-Snatcher [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Adulting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And is unhappy with everyones unhealthy coping mechanisms, Art, Because Uchiha's are waaaaaaaaay overdone, Body Snatching Trope, Deductions, First time writing a Body Snatcher Trope, First time writing an Uchiha, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Intelligent Uchiha Sasuke, Logic, Loyal Uchiha Sasuke, Morals and ethics, More tags to be added, Multi, Music, Non-Vengeful Sasuke, OC as Sasuke, OC insert, Overly Done, Probably my only Uchiha fic, Probably the last time too, Professional Uchiha Sasuke, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Responsible Uchiha Sasuke, Rookie Nine Friendships - Freeform, Sasuke HAVING Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Sasuke thinks Therapy is important, Serious Shinobi Sasuke, Therapy, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, WILLING THERAPY, all the therapy, bc like I said
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-05 23:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21216812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizardsGirl/pseuds/WizardsGirl
Summary: He knew he'd died, old and decrepit and so very tired, but he ALSO knew that he was Uchiha Sasuke, all of seven and sprawled on the ground next to his dead parents after Aniki had killed them and told him to grow stronger with hate...But he hadn't always been Sasuke, and because of that, he knew that things weren't always what they seemed, and he wasn't about to let the stress and trauma of being a Shinobi affect him until he cracked, not like Itachi did.The first step in his plan: go see a therapist.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, October 25th was my 26th birthday, and I had this almost finished, but I went to the zoo then watched a bunch of horror movies, so I didn't finish this until today. But I realized that I have yet to do a Body Snatching Trope at, like, ALL. For ANY fandom. And that I hadn't done an Uchiha AU/OC yet. So I decided to do both!
> 
> As the tags say, this is probably going to be the only Uchiha or Body Snatcher fic I write in a LOOOONG time. Why? Well, EVERYONE seems to do Uchiha fics, and the Sharingan is OP and ridiculous, and people tend to use it as an excuse for lazy writing. "Oh no, I'm fighting someone way too powerful and more experienced than I am!" Boom, Sharingan win. Uchiha AND Body Snatcher fics also tend to have SO Much Angst and body-horror/dysphoria and I'm like "where are all the well-adapted people getting bodies around here?"
> 
> Anyways, here is a Sasuke who just wants to go to therapy, be a good and Professional Shinobi, and figure out how to keep more people from snapping like his Aniki did. I hope you like the different take I'm trying!

**More Than an Avenger**

He woke with an aching head and blood in his mouth, and a body that was too-small, too-young, and too-strange. He could remember being a lot bigger, a lot older, could remember being so tired and achy that he could barely get up from his wheelchair. But, after a minute or two of just sitting there against the wall in his too-small-young-strange body, he could remember being _Sasuke_. And he could remember _Aniki_ and _Kaasan _and_ Tousan_ and...

"Oh," he sighed, whispered, prayed, as he looked at the bodies of this body's parents, lying in the still slowly-spreading pool of their own blood. Distantly, the part of him that was purely _Sasuke_ was devastated, denying it, weeping and crying and screaming, but that part was so very _distant_. The bigger part of him, the part that was him from _Before_, the newer him that had slowly strengthening memories of _Shinobi_ and _training_ and the _real-life facts_ of this world was just _sad_ at the loss of life, but not really... _Connected_ to it.

Because the parts of him that were already combining with the parts of _Sasuke_ that weren't lost (weren't _already fading_) remembered little snippets of conversation between Clanmates, remembered Aniki and Tousan and Kaasan all being grim and tired and cut-off conversations. Remembered glares and insults in the streets, sneers and suspicions just because of his Clan.

And he remembered Aniki's face before he'd turned those swirling, red-black eyes on him and told him to get strong and _kill him_. And that part that remembered, remembered that _Aniki was crying_.

Slowly, carefully, Sasuke (and he _was _Sasuke now, his previous name an already faded smudge in the back of his head, memories fading while thought-process and earned-experience stayed like notes written on his skin in knife-cuts and ink) carefully got to his feet (_he was_ _so small_) and made his way over to the bodies on the ground. They had been quick deaths, deep cuts that his memories about anatomy told him severed both of the main arteries in his parents' throats.

_They didn't suffer_, he thought as he carefully sat next the bodies, mind feeling strangely foggy as the parts that were young Sasuke began to twist around in his head. _They didn't suffer from it. Only from who did it to them._

Closing his eyes, Sasuke leaned against the bodies, utterly exhausted and head pounding as old and new memories curled and meshed and burned together in his head. Before he knew it, the fogginess of his mind covered his senses and, between one breath and the next, he was unconscious.

**)()()()()()()(**

He woke abruptly, blinking blearily, to someone touching his shoulder. Lifting his face from the long-gone cold side of his Kaasan, Sasuke blinked slowly up at the suddenly-still form of what he recognized as an ANBU. Their mask was a bird of some sort, from what he could tell.

Then, they were gone, between one blink and then next, before returning, this time with another ANBU who's mask looked like a cat of some sort. The feline ANBU knelt and slowly reached towards Sasuke, who blinked lethargically and didn't hesitate to reach back for them. Within moments, he was cradled to a distinctly female torso and, in a blur of motion, found himself in what looked like a hospital. That was all he could see before he was swarmed by worried doctors and nurses. Soon after that, he was bundled up in a bed, wrapped in blankets, and then there was an old man in a hat there, looking as tired and grim as Sasuke remembered being before he woke up as Sasuke.

"Sasuke-Kun," the old man greeted quietly, gently, a blond-haired, blue-eyed man on his left and a dark-haired, dark-eyed man with scars on his face to his right.

"Hokage-Sama," Sasuke managed after a moment of painful thought. His voice was soft and slightly-hoarse, and he felt like his face was stuck in a blank, numb state, but he managed to make his lips twitch up slightly, tiredly watching the three older men.

"Do you know what happened, Sasuke-Kun?" Hokage-Sama asked; Sasuke stared at him, closing his eyes slowly, before nodding slowly. "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it yet, Sasuke-Kun. We just want to know what happened, but there's no need to push yourself, alright?"

"I understand, Hokage-Sama," he replied softly. Keeping his eyes closed, Sasuke looked over _his_ memories, and slowly pieced together what happened. "I... I stayed later after school to use the training grounds," he murmured quietly. "Aniki was going to pick me up, so we could train together. When, when he didn't come, I thought he got a mission. I was upset," he murmured softly. "Aniki _always_ has missions or work or Tousan calls him away. Today was supposed to be just the two of us. I took the long way home, even though I knew Kaasan would be upset..." He paused and took a deep breath, lips thinning as the memories of reaching the compound, of this _little boy_ coming come to find bodies and blood everywhere.

"The gate guards were gone," he whispered tightly. "I, I thought it was weird, because they got in trouble if they left their post. Last time, Tousan had them doing backlogged paperwork for a _month_. So, when they weren't there, I thought it was really weird. Then... Then I saw the bodies. All over the ground," he whispered hoarsely, mouth dry and lips feeling numb. "Even, even Miyuki-San and, and her new baby, Keita-Kun," he managed, throat tightening as he remembered the kind young woman and the tiny, bloody bundle that had been clasped to her chest. Sasuke's eyes were beginning to burn, burn like they did when Aniki looked at him with those red-black eyes.

"I, I got scared," Sasuke managed as the first tear slid down his face, eyes opening to stare down at his lap, hands clenched together there tight enough that his tiny knuckles were white. "I ran home as fast as I could, I, I was shouting for Kaasan and Tousan and Aniki..." He took a shaky breath, closing his eyes again and feeling his tiny shoulders bow, braced as if for a blow, and, in his mind, it _was_, because the memory of what little Sasuke had come home to was _seared into his brain_ _in perfect detail_ thanks to his Aniki's spinning, red-black stare.

"Tousan was _dead_," he whispered shakily. "And, and Aniki was, was holding his sword over _Kaasan_ and, and he _swung it down and Kaasan died_," he choked out, tears falling faster. "And, a-and Aniki s-said that, that he was gonna kill me _too_," he choked out, shoulders shaking "He, he had the _Mangekyo_, a-and he, he used it on me." Vaguely, Sasuke noticed the grim, pale faces of the three men, the tightened hands of the Hokage, the ill-cast to the blonde's face, the sudden closed eyes of the scarred man. "He, he s-said that, that I was, was _too weak_ to k-kill, and, and th-that I had to get _stronger_ and, and that I had to _hate _him to do it... But," he whispered, looking up from his lap, face still numb-feeling, tears still falling. "But that was a _lie_," he choked out with a sob. "Aniki was _lying_, 'cause if, if that was _true,_ he wouldn't have killed the _babies_." Sasuke hunched over, wretched sobs forced from his too-small body as he wrapped his arms around himself.

In a second, the Hokage's arms wrapped around him, pulling him against a chest that was far from soft despite the older man's obvious age, iron-hard muscles unsoftened by age-gentled skin. His heart beat clear and strong against Sasuke's ear as the now-young/too-young boy curled within the steel hold of his village's leader. Listening to it, feeling it against him, made the rapidly fading pieces of _Sasuke_ feel soothed. The Hokage would know what to do, would keep him safe, would chase away the bad things that scared the little boy of just hours ago.

This Sasuke logically knew better, had over ninety vaguely remembered years of wisdom and experience to lean on.

But, in this instance, he was a seven-year-old boy who was too exhausted to stop himself from being rocked to sleep.

**)()()()()()()(**

Sasuke looked out over the empty Uchiha District, face still numb even now almost two weeks after the Massacre. Beside him, the Hokage stood silently, solemnly, smoking his pipe as the same bird and cat ANBU (Heron and Lynx, respectively) stood to either side of them.

",,,All of it is mine?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"Yes," the Hokage responded, equally as quiet. Slowly, Sasuke nodded, staring out over the empty District. There had been one hundred and seventy-four Uchiha before the Massacre, with another forty-seven Non-Uchiha families who lived in the District under their Patronage. There had been thirty-nine Jounin, twenty-four Tokubetsu Jounin, thirty-two Chunin, seventeen Genin, and twelve Academy Students, Sasuke included. Another ten had been slotted to join the Academy in the next semester while four of the original twelve were scheduled to graduate.

"I want the teammates of those Uchiha who were in squads to get their personal affects, if they want them," Sasuke told the Hokage quietly. "If not, then I want them informed that they are allowed to visit the Uchiha Memorial at any point to pay their respects, and are allowed in the District whenever they like. Any who are in need of housing are allowed to rent any of the apartments or houses they'd like, as well. Just let them know to talk to me about it."

"You do not need to do that, Sasuke-Kun," the Hokage told him; Sasuke just looked up at him solemnly.

"I'm not the only one who lost family that day, Hokage-Sama," the seven-year-old-but-not informed him seriously. "I will not refuse those who are mourning their chances to pay their respects. I am the only Uchiha here, now," he said quietly. "There is no reason for me to live only among ghosts... And it is too quiet, now," he added seriously, softly, turning his gaze back to the empty district. "This place needs _life_, Hokage-Sama. Otherwise it's just full of ghosts and memories." The Hokage was silently, the two of them just staring out at the District. A piece of paper blew across the empty street, the sound of its soft crinkling and scrapping loud in the aptly named dead space. Then, he set a gentle hand on Sasuke's head, stroking gently once before pulling away.

"I will let the teams and close friends of those fallen know, Sasuke-Kun," he said gently. "And I will have those businesses that were ran by Uchiha placed under your purview. You will not be expected to run them, as I have no doubt that they will have employees and workers who can take care of that but those few businesses that do not may require you to hire them. You will get a certain amount from each one, as well, as is expected of a business owner, but, until that can be done, do not worry about it." Sasuke nodded once, solemnly, memories of Before, now fuzzy but clear enough to still be of use, would no doubt help him with those. For now, however.

"Goodbye, Hokage-Sama," Sasuke told his Leader solemnly; the Hokage inclined his head.

"Lynx will escort you to your home, Sasuke-Kun," the Hokage told him calmly. "If you require anything, do not hesitate to seek an audience with me, understand? I am available to aide you whenever I can."

"Hai, Hokage-Sama," Sasuke murmured, before walking into the District without a look back. Lynx walked beside him, her steps utterly silent and presence only known because she walked within his peripheral. Walking down to too-quiet-too-empty streets was equally eerie and peaceful, in a way. His headaches were frequent since he woke in Sasuke's too-young body, memories twisting and churning, and the constant noise of the Village was sometimes _suffocating_, too much stimulus to his already too-full mind. But here, here where there was no one around to stare or whisper or try and console him, Sasuke found the silence a blessing and curse in turn.

The Main House was like skeleton, looming before him. It was just a house, a little too big but not nearly as over-done as some of the Elders homes were, if he remembered right (and he did). If he hadn't had Young Sasuke's memories, he wouldn't have thought it much different then any other home, but...

But.

"I will be moving to one of the apartments nearer the Gate, Lynx-San," Sasuke informed his guard seriously; she nodded her masked face without a word, and Sasuke stepped up the porch and pushed open the door gently. Stepping inside, the eerie silence was even clearer, cold and dead as its previous inhabitants now were. There was no smell of cooking or tea from Kaasan, no sound of blades being sharpened by Aniki, no papers being rustled or calligraphy being done by Tousan. The air wasn't filed with the tiny charge that spoke of movement in an enclosed space, no faint taste-smell-feel of heat or ashes that all Uchiha seemed to carry on them. There was a trace of fresh floor polish, but otherwise, it was just an empty house filled with dead space.

_Just a skeletons ribcage, empty of its heart,_ he thought quietly as he walked slowly down the hall, the familiar hall turned alien with death. Pausing at the base of the steps that would take him to his room, Sasuke glanced over, morbidly curious, to where he so clearly remembered his parents' deaths.

"Ah," he murmured as he realized where the floor-polish scent was coming from. The floorboards had been replaced entirely, the whole room holding a dark mahogany floor, now, instead of the stained oak it had been. Sasuke... Appreciated the effort, he decided, feeling something like grateful fondness warm his too-numb chest as he stared at the new floors.

"Lynx-San," he murmured to the silent shadow at his side. "Can you tell whoever re-did the floors thank you for me? I appreciate the thought," he informed his guard.

"Hai," the ANBU said; Sasuke nodded his head, turned away from the new floors, and carried on his way up the stairs and down yet another familiar-strange hall. His steps hesitated only once, outside his Aniki's room, before carrying on steadily to his own. Once there, he gathered his clothes and Academy books, his practice weapons and the stuffed cat he'd gotten from his cousin Shisui on his third birthday. Everything had been cleaned, meticulously, and placed back where they had been before, but Sasuke could tell because Kuroneko-kun the cat no-longer smelled like the jasmine tea young-Sasuke had spilled on it the day before they'd been told Shisui-nii had died, had killed himself.

Staring around what had been his body's childhood room, Sasuke took a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes, hugging Kuroneko-Kun to his chest tightly and burying his face in the soft, velvety fur. After a moment, he took another slow, deep breath, and straightened up again.

"Can you carry the futon, please, Lynx-San," he asked quietly; the ANBU nodded solemnly and gathered it up, also grabbing his full bag of Academy books before he could. Sasuke didn't argue with her. He was so numb... "There was an empty apartment in Yoshiro-San's building. He was complaining about it to Tousan a month ago because it was a corner apartment and its neighbor was Akiko-Baa, who was a retired Jounin, and she would file complaints and scold whoever he tried to move in there until they left again. Kaasan said it was because she wanted him to give in and let her tear down the wall so she could have a bigger apartment," Sasuke told the ANBU seriously, the memories of the conversation surprisingly clear. He remembered Before-Sasuke not really listening outside of curiosity, and that both of his parents hadn't really cared that he was there, like most parents didn't care if they thought the children in question were either 'too-young' or simply uninterested.

He had a lot of memories like that, a lot of Elders stopping by to talk about plans alluded to but unmentioned. Of whispered murmurs between Aniki and cousin Shisui and grim, stilted conversations filled with metaphors and similes between his brother and parents. Of civilians and Shinobi outside the Compound throwing hissed comments and insults and sneers at the older Uchiha and judging, suspicious glances at the younger.

Before-Sasuke had been an oblivious child, only concerned with becoming 'just like Aniki' and spending time with his loved ones. He took pride in his training, loved his Village with the same abstract love as one might their childhood home before moving, and only thought that _everyone_ was treated the way he was because there was a boy in his class who he often saw who was treated that way, too. Absently, as he lead the ANBU to the apartment building, Sasuke made a mental note to get closer to Uzumaki Naruto, because if the orphan boy was treated that badly, there were only two directions he would grow in.

He would either turn to desperate, needy obedience in the hopes of affection, or he would turn to sullen, vicious hate in the hopes of _stopping_ the pain.

"Here it is," Sasuke said quietly, opening the door and stepping in. There was a fine layer of dust coating the apartment, proving that it had been unlived in before the Massacre, and something like relief loosened his shoulders. This was no corpse of a house, no dead-air stillness or loss-of-static space. This was an empty house, had been an empty house, and the air, despite the faintly musty, dusty taste to it, was _clean_. It was a studio, small enough that a tall adult might feel pressed in, but to Sasuke, all of seven, it felt just this side of too big. He had Lynx set his folded futon against the wall, and then set about organizing it as much as possible. He absently noted that he'd have to buy dishes and silverware, not wanting to use those of dead relatives he had-but-hadn't met, but, other than that and some household items he'd need, it was a relatively nice set-up.

Thanking Lynx and watching her vanish without a hint of the smoke or leaves that those who usually used Shunshin did, Sasuke looked around his apartment, took a deep breath of the clean, dusty air, and got to cleaning. He had a lot of things to do in the next few days, and, hopefully, his memories would settle so the god-_awful_ headaches would go away. He didn't understand why he was here or what happened to the original Sasuke, but at least his sudden change in personality had been attributed to both trauma and his brother's unknown Mangekyo technique.

He was an old man in a child's body, with all the cynicism and tired wisdom and experience, trapped in a body filled with emotional instability and unsettled hormones and all the quirks and unknown habits already settled enough to give him pause. But this was his reality now, his life, and the times he'd already spent trapped in it had taught him to accept it and his circumstances. He _was_ Uchiha Sasuke, and he was going to be a Shinobi of Konoha. Not because of some half-threat-half-insult from his brother, but because he was trapped here and it was expected. But that didn't mean he had to follow his Aniki's footsteps.

First, he would finish cleaning his apartment. Then, he would go over the inventory paperwork Lynx had left on his counter. And, after that, he would go back over the Academy books and old homework, so that he could settle at least _some_ of his memories.

And, after all that, after he finished the mundane and Shinobi work?

He was going to go set an appointment with a shrink, and ask about non-Shinobi hobbies he could try that wouldn't impede his work. Itachi had been so stressed and pressured and forced into the role of 'Perfect Shinobi' that he had deep stress-lines at _thirteen_, things Sasuke had gotten at _sixty_. He wasn't going to follow those footsteps, wasn't going to let the pressures of this world threaten his already fractured mind. And the first step to that was having something that was soothing that separated him from the Shinobi mindset enough to help.

He wondered what hobbies the shrink would suggest...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so one of my readers pointed out that Psychiatrists weren't a thing until after the Fourth War in Canon, and I am honestly calling bullshit a bit? Like, no, I totally get that they weren't an OFFICIAL thing where their only actual job is a Psychiatrist, but Konoha is a Military Dictatorship. They HAD to have had at least people, probably either ANBU, Med-nin, or Interrogators, who were at least trained to AT LEAST make sure that their weapons aren't about to become threats to Konoha as a whole. They were most likely implemented after the Third War because there was SO MUCH TRAUMA caused by that war, and then you have Kyuubi and Orochimaru and the betrayal of the Sannin (And I don't give a flying fuck how good they were later, Jiraiya abandoned Konoha DURING A WAR and both him and Tsunade were Missing Nin in all but name. Sarutobi was a soft-hearted shit and should have either ordered them back or allocated punishments for them. And don't even get me fucking started on DANZO.)
> 
> So, while not trained SPECIFICALLY FOR psychiatry, the shrinks in the MTAA universe are trained to make sure their Shinobi aren't about to crack (and will be especially attentive towards Sasuke considering no one knows wtf the Mangekyo did besides totally change his emotional/mental stability/ability)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to comment!

**More Than an Avenger**

Yamanaka Minoru was of the same blond-haired-blue-eyed cloth that cut the entirety of the Yamanaka Clan. He was also a retired Medic-nin, a stroke from before Sasuke's _brother_ had been born had crippled his ability to mold Chakra without risking an aneurism. Now he used his knowledge of the human body, his Clans knowledge of the human mind, and his part-time job as an Interrogator to help make sure that Konoha's Shinobi didn't snap and kill their own people.

Like Itachi had.

"I can honestly say that this is the first time I've had someone request an appointment without orders," the Yamanaka informed him easily as they sat across from each other. The left side of the older man's face drooped slightly from his stroke, making his smile crooked and left eye slightly lazy. "And, if I'm being honest, I am especially pleased that it's you who came willingly, considering the circumstances we find ourselves in."

"The last thing I want is to travel the same road as Aniki," Sasuke informed the older man solemnly. "I want to be a good Shinobi for my Village, but I've seen exactly what happens when the pressure to be a _great_ Shinobi is piled on someone's shoulder. And, thanks to the unknown effects of my Aniki's Mangekyo, I must be extra cautious. I hope our meetings can prove to be helpful," Sasuke told him, fingers laced together in his lap; Yamanaka-San nodded cordially, still half-smiling.

"Being able to recognize possible weaknesses in ones own mind are signs of maturity that it's rare to see in children your age," Yamanaka-San told him simply. "Were you able to do so before the Massacre?"

"No," Sasuke replied simply. "Before that night, I remember being… Less aware," he settled on, frowning slightly. "Now when I think about things from before the Massacre, I see them in a completely different light, and not only my memories of Aniki but _all_ my memories. Subtle things, things that I always brushed off or didn't even notice at the time. And I went back over my Academy books, because everything was… Was muddled, or out of place, in my mind because I have too much and too little information? And it all makes _sense_ to me now, or, at least, most of it does, even things that I wasn't interested in before. The Medic-nin said it was normal, or at least that it wasn't unexpected. I get migraines from the information issues, but they said that should fade over time as my brain gets used to the differences…" Sasuke shook his head with a slight grimace as Yamanaka-San nodded and wrote something down on the clipboard balanced on his knee.

"That sounds very frustrating, Sasuke-Kun," he stated simply. "Have you been doing anything specific in order to try to ease that frustration? Or any of the stress you've no doubt been feeling lately?" He paused and then continued delicately. "Have you spoken to anyone about what happened, outside of reports and facts?" Sasuke paused, blinking at the blond man, before frowning slightly.

"I've spoken to several of the people who come to pay their respects to the Uchiha Memorial," he informed the Yamanaka slowly. "If I knew the person in particular that they were there for, I share what happy memories I have with them, and they do the same. The ones I don't know, I ask what they were like. I know from reading that discussing happier times helps ease some of the misery after someone dies," he said quietly. "I think… I think that might have been one of the reasons Aniki finally cracked, you know. Our cousin Shisui, he was like Aniki's best friend and brother all in one, and he was always trying to be happy and bright and distract everyone from how dark everything was getting… He died, two weeks before Aniki… Before he k-killed everyone," he continued, hesitating only a moment before straightening his shoulders. Even if the thought hurt the lingering parts of _Before-Sasuke_, he wouldn't shy away from it. His Aniki had _murdered_ their Clan. Sasuke wouldn't let it be dehumanized by just calling it _The Massacre_ all the time.

"After we got the messenger about Shisui-Nii's death, we just… Didn't talk about it," he stated quietly. "Kaasan stopped buying the jasmine tea he liked, Tousan stopped complaining about his late paperwork, our Clanmates who were close to him didn't speak about him. It was, it was like, after he died, he stopped _existing_, like he wasn't _family_ anymore just because he died… Aniki closed up after that," he murmured. "He got quiet and distant and would disappear in the middle of the night. I remember, now, him talking at night, sometimes, when everyone was asleep. I'd only hear it occasionally, if I got up for a drink in the darkest parts of the night. It was always muffled and soft behind his doors, but, but it sounded like he was talking _to_ someone, sometimes, even though I never heard anyone else. About, about something called the _cycle of hatred_ and that our eyes were cursed…" Sasuke closed his eyes briefly, ignoring the faint sound of the Yamanaka's writing.

"It's another reason why I'm here," the now-child stated firmly, opening his eyes to solemnly meet the veterans. "I'm afraid of turning into Aniki, afraid that if I focus too much, too hard, on being a _Good Shinobi_ that I'll crack like he did. It's why I requested a semi-permanent councilor, with steady appointments until I reach Genin, and then we can work around my Missions Roster. I feel its important to be able to discuss my emotions and thoughts on things, that way it won't build up until it can't go any further but _out_. It's also why I was wondering if you had any suggestions on things I could try working on that don't necessarily involve anything Shinobi-related? So I have a hobby I can fall back on if I find myself getting too stressed or anxious or just because its soothing…"

"I understand," Yamanaka-San agreed, eyes locked on Sasuke even as his hand continued to write, the coded short-hand he was using looking like little spirals and curls that made no sense to the now-child. "It's obvious to me that you've put considerable thought into this. That already speaks considerably for your mental health. And being afraid of mental instability, especially in our field and with your first-hand witness of it, is _completely normal_, alright?" He held Sasuke's eyes seriously for several seconds, until the boy nodded faintly in acceptance. "Now, onto your request. It's a little unusual, as most of those I see request things they can safely do that will further their careers as Shinobi, but I think I can give you a list of things, as well as a few recommended shops to check out if you're interested…"

Twenty minutes later, Sasuke left the innocuous, bland building that was directly beside the hospital, with a list of suggestions and an appointment set up to see Yamanaka-San once a week every month, unless otherwise needed. They would see how Sasuke felt at the end of the month, before deciding if they would continue with this schedule indefinitely, or if they should meet more-or less-often.

Peering down at the list in his hand, Sasuke checked the time, then nodded.

He had time to check out the first store.

**)()()()()()()()()()(**

Sasuke had memories, very vague, time-worn memories, from _Before_ of fishing. Of finding peace and pleasure in spending hours at a time alone on a dock or boat or rocky shore or hip-deep in a stream, with nothing around him but the waters and wilds, casting over and over. Sometimes, he wouldn't get a single bite, sometimes he'd catch himself something to take home for dinner, but it never mattered either way.

Konoha was severely lacking in fishing spots, although it had rivers and ponds and even small lakes where one _could_ fish. But those had to be marketed, times and money spent before hand getting specific licenses and tags, with strict regulations on how many of what kind of fish in what size and weight one could get. Most of such tags were bought up quickly by merchants, with spots left open on certain boats for D-Rank Missions in the pre-dawn darkness.

So, it would be safe to say that he wouldn't be able to try his hand at fishing anytime soon, to see if he could grasp that familiar-strange feeling of _peace_.

So Sasuke would have to try some other things first.

Painting, as it turned out, is _ridiculously_ more difficult than he had been led to believe. Colors smudged and mixed when you didn't want them too if you weren't careful, only certain types of paint kept clean lines and outlines that you wanted, canvas and paper all had different textures, the type of _brush_ you used could cause untold amounts of chaos… It was messy and difficult and the little deck connected to his apartment looked like a toddler on a sugar-rush had torn into it…

But it was… Kind of fun, he decided, as he peered at the seven small canvas boards he'd finished, the papers a lost cause after a few too many attempts at making something _okay_ to look at. The seven paintings he'd managed to complete (for some distant, vague meaning of the word) were far from the beautiful things he remembered but… But they were nice enough to look at. Splashes and streaks of colors, mostly in acrylics, covered them. One particular canvas was a riot of blues and greens, with spatters of red and yellow, and it _almost _(vaguely, _so vaguely_) looked like a field of flowers… Kind of.

A hallucinating teenager's view of a field of flowers, maybe, but _still_.

Nodding to himself, he left the paintings to sit and headed for the counter, where Yamanaka-Sans list of suggestions was waiting. He had already marked off Knitting/Crochet after three long hours spent struggling though his first few attempts. It had been too frustrating and mentally-taxing to remember all the steps and processes and, by the time he'd manage to complete the easiest project, a small, simple square that was crooked and messy looking, he'd decided it definitely wasn't for him. Wood carving had been interesting, but he realized quickly that he currently lacked the patience for the slow, careful focus it called for, his young body quickly growing impatient as time passed and his attempt at a cat turned steadily more mangled. It sat on a shelf nearby with the tools recommended for it, to be worked on every once in a while, in the hopes of actually managing it, but it had been crossed off all the same.

Painting had been the latest suggestion he'd tried, and he circled it firmly with a nod. Now that he had a vague idea of what he liked, the fact that it was simple and messy and kind of fun sold it to him, at least for now. It wasn't exactly something he could see himself throwing hours at a time into, but the two hours he'd just spent messing about had led to a state of enjoyment he hadn't felt since waking up in this body, so it was a good little hobby to have. He would continue, for now, to see what else he enjoyed, but painting was definitely a stress-relief.

_Learn an Instrument_ was the next suggestion, and Sasuke tapped the pen on the counter-top in consideration. He hadn't been able to really play anything besides a harmonica in the _Before_, not that he could remember, and even _that_ had been little tunes like _Drunken Sailor_ and _Yankee-Doodle_. He just… Hadn't been interested. And now, the idea of having to constantly or consistently blow into something to make music was… Unappealing, he decided, grimacing a bit.

…But he'd thought painting would be a waste of time, too.

Sighing a little, Sasuke went to the sink to wash his hands, before he would hunt someone down for advice on what instruments he could try. Whichever it was, he would _try_, genuinely, and, if he didn't enjoy it, he would mark it off the list and continue onward. For now, he would clean up his hands, attempt to clean his deck, and then head out.

Hopefully Tsukimi-Baa was still in her apartment across the way, and not at the hospital for her usual midnight-shift yet, considering it was almost seven o'clock at night…

…

"…I should eat first," he murmured to himself, wincing faintly at the idea of facing the elder woman who would somehow just _know_ he hadn't done so yet. It seemed that the mystery that was women in general would follow him into _this_ life as well, along with the healthy dose of wary respect he'd held, too. He'd never understood those men, from Before or here, who could somehow look at women and _not_ think 'fierce'. His mother had knocked all of that foolishness from his head before he'd even learned to walk properly, he vaguely remembered, and Uchiha Mikoto, from his memories, had been a retired _Jounin_ with a tongue and mind sharp enough to bring Tousan to heel with a _look_.

(He remembered the one and _only_ time his Tousan had raised his voice and snapped at Kaasan to _hold your tongue, woman!_ The entire house had gone eerily silent, the air had gone still, and Kaasan had stared at Tousan with half-lidded black eyes as he'd gone pale as snow and folded his hands slowly away from the table. He'd apologized, quietly and sincerely, and Kaasan had slowly inclined her head, but Sasuke also remembered that Tousan had spent the next week on the spare futon in his office, and that he'd been home early every day that same week baring Kaasan's favorite, expensive teas and treats.)

_Women are not to be trifled with_, Sasuke thought grimly. _Especially women trained to kill without hesitation._ Nodding to himself, the now-child shuffled to his fridge and started preparing his dinner. He would seek out Tsukimi-Baa's aide tomorrow afternoon, after he went to the Academy and gathered the homework he had been missing during his… Bereavement Leave. He wouldn't be heading back for another week, but that was no excuse to not have the paperwork done.

Nodding his head, Sasuke diligently got to work on his food.

**)()()()()()()()()(**

Okumura Tsukimi had been born a decade before Konoha had been founded. Her family had been Civilian weavers with only a few rare cases of slightly-higher Chakra, and had been happy to just continue working and staying out of the fights around them… Up until a fight between the Senju and the Uchiha had come to their small town, and had seen the young girl orphaned. In recompense, the Uchiha had taken her in and, upon the Founding, had sponsored her medical training. She had been raised amongst them, had fought with them during every War until she'd lost her right leg at the knee during the very beginning of the Third War. She had chosen to get a small apartment close to the hospital rather than stay in the Compound, determined to continue serving the Village rather than retire, despite Sasuke's Grandfather-the Uchiha Clan Head at the time-offering her a much larger home and house-care because of her loyalty and services paid.

"Had a sweet-spot for me, that silly man," Tsukimi-Baa had informed him fondly once. "Liked to call me Tsuki-nee all the damn time, the brat."

As soon as word had gone out inviting any who had been close to the Uchiha to come give their respects and even move in, Tsukimi-Baa had made quite the sight, appearing at the gates at dawn, face drawn and grief-lined, her every worldly possession in scrolls dragged in a wagon behind her as she aggressively stalked into the Compound, her prosthetic leg clicking ominously with every step. She had, after greeting him and telling Sasuke who she was, promptly laid claim to the small Landlord apartment of the building closest to the Gates and had firmly declared herself as his honorary Baa-Chan and that he was to come to her for _anything_. The fact that this had been said with one of those infamously terrifying smiles, the kind where the woman's face is gentle and sweet while the shadows behind her transform into horrifying monsters, had kept anyone from even _thinking_ of telling the elderly woman what to do.

She also made delicious vegetable curry with extra tomatoes for him.

Still, she was the closest thing to a Guardian Sasuke had, and she took her position as honorary grandmother seriously. So, as soon as she opened her door and saw it was Sasuke, the now-child found himself herded onto her couch and plied with homemade mochi as she went to see if she could find her shamisen, koto, or biwa, as she hadn't actually played them since she'd moved out of the Compound.

"While I can teach you the basics of all three," she called from the other room, "and I can teach you what Traditional Uchiha songs I know, you'll have to seek out other tutors to learn more than that. I suggest taking a few of the Kunoichi classes, if you're determined to learn more. They're voluntary for men, but compulsory for women, and while in _my_ day they taught you sound-based genjutsu to go with it, or poisons to coat your wind-instruments with, now-a-days they're strictly infiltration-based." The elderly woman returned from the room holding an old scroll, her lips pursed distastefully. "When I was a girl, Shinobi were strictly for guard duty and big battles, you know, and women were strictly for seduction and assassination." Carefully, she sat down on the couch beside Sasuke, huffing slightly as she shifted her prosthetic. "The first ANBU squads, the bloodiest and most dangerous? All women. We were expendable and unexpected and always overlooked. A noble gets assassinated in a crowded room? Everyone suspected the hired muscle, no one expected the tiny geisha cowering with her biwa…" She huffed, shaking her head, before unrolling the scroll and exposing three separate sealing marks.

"This is an Uzumaki-Specialty Sealing Scroll, Sasuke-Bō," Tsukimi-Baa told him, small fingers gently tracing the strangely glittering ink. "One of the last around since the Clan was massacred by Kiri and Iwa. Anyone now-a-days who claims to be a Sealing Master is no better than an Uzumaki Academy student in comparison. The Seal Masters of Uzu were _terrifying_, Sasuke-Bō. This scroll alone has enough space to hold the possessions of the entire Uchiha Line and still have room for a couple dozen corpses. It also," she added with a small smile, "has an extra marker for controlled use, so you can choose what you remove from it. I use it for storage, obviously." With a flash of chakra and a small plume of smoke, the three promised instruments appeared on the table in front of them.

"Now, let's see which one fits you best," Tsukimi-Baa declared, smiling that same, terrifyingly gentle smile as she picked up her samisen. "Now, I'm positive I removed the poisons from these ages ago, but just in case, if your fingers start to feel tingly or numb, let me know, alright?" And, as she smiled at him with hopefully playful menace, Sasuke could only offer a small, weak smile back.

_He would never understand the mystery of women._

**)()()()()()()()(**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted a Sasuke who was properly respectful of women, so have some Headcanon/World-Building. Also, I call complete bullshit on anyone not having ties to the Uchiha Clan outside of said Clan. There are teammates, lovers, friends, healers…  
So, my Sasuke gets his own version of Unohana from Bleach but without the weird beard-braid she had.  
Hope you liked it!


End file.
